Earlier this summer, Shara Arora’s 9-year-old daughter came home from a magic show determined to perform a few tricks of her own. Before long, she was holding up a towel and making a spoon appear to float behind it.
Arora could see that her daughter had taped the spoon to something. But instead of spoiling the trick, she acted amazed: “How did you do that?” Her daughter’s face lit up. She explained how she had devised the illusion, what had inspired her, and the trial and error involved in making a spoon float. The real magic, it turned out, wasn’t the spoon. It was what happened when a parent who knew the answer kept quiet and let her child become the expert.
“I always see it on their face,” says Arora, executive director of two Montessori schools in the Houston area. “There’s that prideful look: ‘I know something that a grown-up doesn’t know.’”
A child doesn’t need a magic trick—or even a particularly impressive skill—to experience that same role reversal. Simply asking your kid to teach you something once a week can boost their confidence, strengthen their communication skills, and give you a glimpse into parts of their world you might otherwise miss.
Kids spend a huge portion of their lives being instructed, corrected, and evaluated. Asking them to teach you something—even for five minutes—changes that dynamic in a small but meaningful way.
For once, the parent stops being the authority and becomes a curious student. That can be especially powerful for children who struggle in school, says Alex Anderson-Kahl, a school psychologist and founder of Raise Strong, which offers practical tools and coaching for parents. Parents get to see that “competence doesn’t just live on a report card,” he says.
Maybe your child finds math class miserable but can construct an elaborate Minecraft universe. Perhaps they boast an encyclopedic knowledge of dinosaurs, know every rule of a sport you only pretend to understand, or can edit a video faster than you can locate the camera app. Asking them to teach you creates an opportunity to demonstrate—and experience—their own capabilities. That can resonate more deeply than simply hearing, “You’re so smart.”
“You’re giving the child an actual opportunity to show their confidence,” Anderson-Kahl says. Plus, the lesson offers clues about how they think: how they organize information, communicate an idea, and respond when someone doesn’t understand.
Teaching also helps children strengthen their grasp of whatever they’re explaining. They can’t simply repeat a fact; they have to determine how the pieces fit together, decide where to begin, and identify any gaps in their own knowledge. As anyone who has attempted to explain the rules of a board game knows, understanding something yourself and successfully conveying it to another person are two very different skills.
What exactly is a child practicing while teaching a parent? “It would be easier to say what they aren’t,” says Michelle Retsky, a speech-language pathologist and founder of Words in Motion Therapy.
One of the biggest benefits is perspective-taking, or figuring out what another person knows and what they don’t. A child explaining Fortnite, for example, might initially be shocked that their favorite adult has somehow made it this far in life without playing. That means they get to provide context, define unfamiliar terms, watch for confused expressions, and adjust their explanation accordingly. That flexes communication, language, and executive-functioning skills like planning and organizing.
The exercise can be particularly helpful for shy kids and reluctant communicators, Retsky says. A child who has little to say about school might happily talk for 20 minutes about a favorite video game or movie. They’re speaking from familiar territory, without worrying that an adult will judge or grade their answer.
Retsky recently met a child who kept his head down through a series of introductory questions. “I didn’t even see his face yet,” she says. Pizza or tacos? No enthusiasm. Then she asked about horror movies. “Finally, he lifted his head,” she says. “I got to actually see the kid I was working with.”
There’s no need to formally schedule your child’s weekly lesson. Announcing that every Tuesday at 7 p.m. is now Teach Your Parent Night is an excellent way to transform a fun idea into homework.
Instead, treat “once a week” as a reminder to notice one natural opening. If your child is drawing, building, cooking, playing a game, practicing a dance, or excitedly recounting something they learned, get curious. Try: “Wait, how did you do that?” or “I don’t know how that works. Can you show me?”
