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Count Binface has not held back on the number of pledges he is making as he takes on Nigel Farage in the Clacton by-election.<\/p>\n
The \u201cspace and electoral warrior\u201d has published a 20-point platform for the contest.<\/p>\n
The race was triggered by the Reform UK leader quitting as MP for the Essex seaside constituency as he faced a swirl of financial allegations.<\/p>\n
So it is not surprising that at least some of the Count\u2019s manifesto promises are directed specifically against Mr Farage.<\/p>\n
* MPs who resign mid-Parliament to be banned from the resulting by-election<\/p>\n
* I promise to spend more time in Clacton-on-Sea than in Washington DC, and to champion the area<\/p>\n
* I will not accept \u00a35 million gifts from crypto billionaires (on Earth)<\/p>\n
But there are also a number of other pledges which might be expected from a not always entirely serious electoral contender.<\/p>\n
* Bus fares to be capped at \u00a31.99, and 99 Flake ice-creams to cost no more than 99p<\/p>\n
* Arcade grabber games to be made fairer so players \u201cactually have a change to win\u201d<\/p>\n
* Parliament to be moved \u201cto my new Bin HQ\u201d while the Palace of Westminster is restored<\/p>\n
* Wayne Rooney to be \u201cnew expert summariser for BBC\u201d at Eurovision<\/p>\n