I've done some wild things in my pursuit of better sex.
I've attended an orgasm retreat in the Californian desert. I've taken a notepad to a swingers' party in the middle of London. Heck, I've asked complete strangers questions about their genitals that would get most people removed from a dinner party.
So, it takes a lot for me to say, 'Umm… I think we might be taking this a little too far.'
But that's exactly what happened last week when a friend casually revealed that she had inhaled something potentially life-threatening in pursuit of a better orgasm.
More surprising still, she's not the only straight woman I know who's tried it.
The substance in question is called poppers. They come in tiny bottles that are often sold under gloriously anodyne labels such as 'leather cleaner' or 'room deodorizer,' and have spent decades being synonymous with gay clubs and gay male sex.
For anyone as sheltered as I apparently was, poppers are alkyl nitrites: chemicals inhaled to produce an intense but fleeting head rush.
Within seconds, blood vessels dilate, the heart starts racing and a wave of warmth and euphoria rushes through the body. Gay friends describe feeling uninhibited and spectacularly turned on, although the effects generally disappear within a few minutes.
I've done some wild things in my pursuit of better sex, so it takes a lot for me to say something is too far
A friend casually revealed that she had inhaled something potentially life-threatening in pursuit of a better orgasm
Their popularity among gay men wasn't merely about having a fabulous time on the dance floor. Poppers relax smooth muscle, including the sphincter, which can make anal sex easier and potentially less painful.
Over time, they became so closely linked to gay male sexual culture that I had never really considered what appeal they might hold for heterosexual women.
My friend claimed that one quick inhale during sex made every sensation feel more intense and sent her orgasm 'through the roof.'
She told me the rush helped silence the endless chatter in her head and surrender to what was happening to her body. I always thought that was what martinis were for.
Plenty of women, I'm told, use poppers during anal sex for the same muscle-relaxing effect that first made them famous among gay men. Suddenly, a drug I associated with gay nightclubs has started appearing on the bedside tables of straight couples.
