Published: 16:41 BST, 8 August 2026 | Updated: 16:54 BST, 8 August 2026
A cheater's response to being exposed can reveal whether the affair was an isolated betrayal or part of a destructive pattern which is likely to continue, experts say.
While many assume repeat cheaters are simply obsessed with sex, New York psychotherapist and sex therapist Chamin Ajjan says the behavior is frequently rooted in something much deeper.
She told the Daily Mail that habitual infidelity is often fueled by compulsive behavior, unresolved trauma and perhaps surprisingly, could be an attempt to regulate painful emotions rather than just a relentless pursuit of pleasure.
'There might be underlying trauma, and they might be using sex as a way to numb past childhood trauma or the pain that they've experienced in the past,' Ajjan said.
'It's more of an act of regulation and a way to calm their nervous system, and it's less about pleasure.'
Ajjan said one of the clearest differences between someone who has a one-time affair and a serial cheater is how they respond after betraying their partner.
While a person responsible for an isolated affair will often immediately express remorse, a serial cheater may minimize the pain they caused, blame their partner and feel worse about being caught than the betrayal itself.
Serial cheaters can also feel entitled to the experience or become addicted to the excitement and risk that comes with getting away with an affair.
Chamin Ajjan (Pictured) is a psychotherapist in New York who has practiced couples and sex therapy for over 20 years. She said serial cheaters may be suffering from underlying trauma
In some cases, the forbidden nature of the act itself becomes part of the appeal. Ajjan said there can also be a neurochemical component driving the behavior.
'They have a higher reward sensitivity, meaning that they're chasing dopamine, and the behavior – the sexual indiscretion is more like a neurobiological itch that they were struggling to inhibit,' she explained. 'They're just really having a difficult time managing.'
Ajjan, who has practiced couples and sex therapy for more than 20 years, said one of the first clues someone may be cheating is a dramatic change in their behavior.
But contrary to popular belief, that shift is not always negative.
While some people become distant, critical or argumentative, others suddenly become unusually attentive, showering their partner with gifts, compliments and affection in what can appear to be an effort to compensate for their guilt, she explained.